This blog post was written by Chiquita Merrill, LPC, ACS
Once, during a conversation about pronouns, someone told me, “I’ll never put my pronouns in my email. You know why? Because I don’t care which ones you use for me.”
On the surface, that might sound open-minded, even progressive; what he didn’t recognize was the privilege embedded in that statement.
He was a cisgender man who presents as male and uses he/him pronouns. No one is going to look at him and get it “wrong.” No one is going to question how to address him or risk embarrassing themselves by guessing incorrectly.
That’s the quiet benefit of living in a world where your identity is assumed correctly. For many others, that’s not the case.
At the time, I didn’t have the right language to explain that. I still don’t think anyone has to include pronouns in their signature. It’s a personal choice. But for me, as a cisgender woman who uses she/her pronouns, I choose to share them.
So, why do pronouns matter?
There have been a lot more people sharing their pronouns in professional spaces. You might see pronouns written in an email signature, on a name tag, in a professional bio, or in someone’s display name on Zoom. Here’s why that’s important and what it communicates.
Clarity
Names don’t give you all the information you need. Societally, we tend to rely on visual cues, but that is not always accurate or clear. No one wants to get caught in the guy versus gal names debate. Including pronouns in an introduction or in an email signature simply helps others address you correctly without confusion.
Inclusion
Having everyone shared their pronouns when first introduced removes pressure from transgender, non-binary, or non-conforming people to be the only one doing so. In this way, we normalize an inclusive culture.
Be an Ally
I choose to announce my pronouns, and put them in my email signature, to demonstrate my support for folks who don’t have the privilege that I do. I want people to know that they can be themselves with me and they will be accepted.
Safe Spaces
Announcing pronouns signifies that this is a space that will use the correct pronouns. Using the correct pronouns not only fosters trust and respect, but also supports emotional wellbeing. From a mental health perspective, being addressed accurately helps people feel seen and safe, reducing the anxiety and disconnection that can come with being misgendered.
