Gender identity is something that’s very important, but also very personal.
Maybe you’ve been exploring your gender identity, but haven’t yet decided if you’re ready to change the way you present yourself to the world. If you’ve been thinking about coming out with your true identity, here are a few tips that can help.
Coming Out as Trans at Work or School
Maybe no one in your life knows about your gender identity, or maybe only a few people close to you do. Either way, coming out as your true identity at work or school is a big step, and, for many people, the next step after coming out to close family and friends. Coming out as trans is different for each individual, but typically, it means expressing your true gender identity through fashion choices, pronouns, etc., along with an unofficial or official name change.
Not sure if you’re ready? Keep these tips in mind:
1. Ask Yourself Why You Want To Come Out
LGBTQ+ blogger Alex W. recommends asking yourself why you want to come out before committing:
“What is the reason you want to get out? Do you long to be part of a vibrant community that embraces you for who you are? Do you yearn to freely share stories about your dates and love life with your family and friends? Or perhaps it’s simply the desire to live authentically, to no longer hide a significant part of who you are from the world. Whatever your reason, the decision to come out of the closet is deeply personal and courageous.”
2. Educate Yourself About Gender Identity
Make sure you’ve taken the time to study all the information you can get your hands on about gender identity. Also keep in mind that some people in your life might reject your true identity. Be prepared to have a discussion.
Alex says that “understanding the terminology and being aware of common misconceptions can help you feel more confident and prepared to address questions or concerns from others.”
You will also have to understand that, no matter what you say, there may be someone who outright rejects your identity. Be prepared to accept that.
3. Choose the Right Time and Place
Coming out is deeply personal and different for everyone. When and where you should do it depends on a few factors, namely your feelings of comfort and safety.
Alex says:
“There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to coming out. Take the time to consider when and where you feel most comfortable having these conversations. Whether it’s over a cup of tea, during a walk in the park, or in the privacy of your own home, choose a setting that feels safe and conducive to open communication with the person you want to reveal yourself to.”
Changing Your Name During Gender Transition
Reggie Eaton, a blogger for the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) who identifies as as a “Queer, Trans-masculine, Person of Color,” has some advice for anyone trying to assert their identity by changing their name socially:
Test Out A New Name on a Lower Scale
Maybe you already have a favorite name associated with your true gender that you’ve always wanted to use. Before you rush out and tell everyone your new name, try to use the name in private for a while first and see how it feels.
Reggie suggests:
- Writing/journaling to yourself using your identity
- If you have a supportive person in your life you can talk to about it, ask them to write letters, emails or texts to you using the new name
- Talk to yourself and refer to yourself using the identifiers you want to try out
- Order a coffee at your local coffee shop with the name. Reggie says that hearing his name being called out for the first time was “euphoric”
- Create an anonymous social media account that you can use to test out potential names and pronouns
Practice Self-Care
- Create a playlist that makes you feel like your true gender
- Start a collection of saved videos and memes that can distract you or cheer you up during feelings of dysphoria
- Buy or make small things that you associate with your identity and keep them around you
Trans Resources in Virginia
Even if you don’t have a strong support system, there are people out there who want to help. Here are a few resources where you can find information and support while figuring out your gender identity:
National Center for Transgender Equality
You can find information on legally changing your name in Virginia on the National Center for Transgender Equality’s website.
TrevorSpace
TrevorSpace is an online community and safe space for LGBTQ+ youth from The Trevor Project. TrevorSpace helps young people (ages 13-24) “explore their identities, get peer advice, find peer support and joy, and make friends in a moderated community.”
The Trevor Project Coming Out Handbook
The Trevor Project Coming Out Handbook offers tips for coming out.
2024 Guide To Virginia’s PRIDE Festivals & Events
Looking to celebrate Pride Month and connect with other LGBTQ+ community members? You can see all the 2024 events in the newest guide to Virginia’s Pride festivals.
Let’s Move Forward, Together
We’re committed to serving all of our community, including our LGBTQ+ community members. If you’re struggling with your identity, a lack of support or any kind of mental health concern, we are here to help. Make an appointment for same-day access online or by calling us at 757-758-5105.
Let’s move forward, together.