As a parent, you know your kids are always watching and listening. They soak it all in like little sponges.
So, there are certain things you have to be extra careful with when little ones are around, especially when it comes to drinking habits and how you talk about alcohol.
Kids learn about alcohol consumption from a lot of different places – friends, online content, and social situations – but their biggest influence is at home. The way you approach alcohol plays a big role in how they view it themselves. Whether they see drinking alcohol as something that’s enjoyed in moderation or as a way to cope with stress depends a lot on the example you set.
That might feel like a lot of pressure, but take a deep breath and try not to worry just yet. The fact that you’re reading this means you’re already on the right track. You’re a thoughtful parent wanting to set a good example. And that’s the first step to helping your child develop a healthy relationship with alcohol.
We’ll take a look at some ways you can model healthier drinking habits to reduce your child’s likelihood of underage drinking and help them establish a responsible relationship with alcohol for the future.
Related: Why is alcohol awareness month important?
Talking honestly about drinking alcohol
It might be tempting to avoid talking about alcohol at home, thinking that what your child doesn’t know can’t hurt them. But this approach can backfire. Think back to when you were a kid – didn’t you want to know more about the things your parents avoided talking about? Turning alcohol into a taboo subject can lead to your child sneaking around and taking part in risky behaviors.
Here’s how you can get the conversation started:
- Find a time when you’re both calm, engaged, and not distracted
- Create a relaxed environment
- Start with short conversations
- Make the chats a regular thing
Your child will probably have plenty of questions, and they’re more likely to open up if they feel safe and understood rather than guilty or anxious. Creating a space for them to ask questions and talk openly helps build trust and encourages honest conversation.
Give them an insight into alcohol abuse
You don’t want to scare your child, but it’s important to let them know how alcohol affects their physical and mental health in an age-appropriate way.
4 to 7 years old: Don’t overcomplicate things at this age. Let your child know how drinking alcohol can slow down their mind and body, and make it harder to think clearly.
8 to 11 years old: You can give a little more detail here about how alcohol can be dangerous. This can include short-term effects like hangovers and bad breath, as well as longer-term effects like liver damage and memory loss.
12 to 17 years old: These are the tough years when your child will more likely be subject to peer pressure around alcohol. It’s important to keep communication open with them so they feel comfortable coming to you with questions.
At this age, you can tell them:
- The minimum legal drinking age is 21 years old for a reason
- Young people are more at risk of alcohol poisoning
- How underage drinking can cause changes in their brain development
- Drinking alcohol can make it difficult to give consent
- Starting to drink at an early age can put you more at risk for developing alcohol use disorder later on
You can tell them it’s safer not to drink in the first place. But by starting the conversation early, they’ll have the information they need to make healthier choices about drinking alcohol when they arrive at the legal drinking age.
Their healthy drinking habits start with you
If you grew up around drinking and saw it as a normal part of life, you might not have even thought about your relationship with alcohol. If you can function normally in your daily life and meet your responsibilities with work and family, you might not feel the need to reassess how you approach drinking. While this could definitely be true, sometimes taking a step back and looking more closely at our alcohol use can show us unhealthy patterns.
Do you find yourself regularly having a drink after a long day at work? Or do you find that having a bottle of wine by yourself has become a habit? This behavior might seem harmless, but it’s worth reflecting on, especially if you want to create a more positive example for your children.
Drinking in moderation vs. binge drinking
It can be tricky to know when you’ve gone from enjoying a drink to overindulging a little.
The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) defines binge drinking as “a pattern of drinking alcohol that brings blood alcohol concentration (BAC) to 0.08% – or 0.08 grams of alcohol per deciliter – or higher.”
But it’s safe to say that most of us aren’t walking around with a blood alcohol concentration calculator handy. So, how can you tell if your drinking falls into this category?
First, even as an adult, it’s important to understand how much alcohol is safe to drink. A standard alcoholic drink is any drink that contains about 0.6 fluid ounces of pure alcohol.
You’ll find that in drinks like:
- A 12-ounce can of beer at 5% alcohol
- A 5-ounce glass of wine at 12% alcohol
- A 1.5-ounce shot of distilled spirits at 40% alcohol
For men, binge drinking is defined as having 5 or more drinks within a 2-hour period. For women, it’s having 4 or more drinks in 2 hours. Moderate alcohol use is 1 drink or less per day for a woman and 2 drinks or less per day for a man.
How to model healthy drinking habits
If you want to show your kids what a healthy relationship with alcohol looks like, the best place to start is to lead by example. While it’s important to talk openly and honestly with them about alcohol, showing them how to drink in moderation goes a long way.
Keep these things in mind to set a good example:
- Limit yourself to 1 or 2 drinks max
- Don’t talk about alcohol as a way to deal with stress
- Avoid romanticizing your drinking when you were younger, or the situations you might have gotten into because of it
- Don’t place alcohol at the center of every family gathering or celebration
When you’re teaching your kids about alcohol, it’s important to remind them that it’s totally okay not to drink, too. Let them know that it’s a completely valid option, and that they shouldn’t let anyone pressure them into drinking.
Healthier choices start at home
No parent gets it right 100% of the time. What matters is being consistent with what you tell your kids and practicing what you preach. By creating an environment at home where they’re comfortable opening up to you and asking questions about alcohol, they’re more likely to go into the world with confidence in their decision-making.
Related: Talking to your kids about their mental health
Are you finding it hard to manage your drinking and need a helping hand? Or maybe you need family therapy to get through a rough patch?
Western Tidewater Community Services Board (WTCSB) is here when things get tough. Serving Suffolk, Franklin, Southampton County, and Isle of Wight County in Virginia, WTCSB has the resources you need to become a healthier you.
Our services include crisis support, children’s and adult services, substance abuse treatment, prevention programs, and same-day access.
Reach out now to start the conversation. If you’re struggling and need urgent support, call our 24-hour emergency line at (757) 925-2484.